For an entire childhood,
Spent until bankrupt, growing down,
Because, even when,
Predictable storms stopped raging,
Puddles, of unthinkable depth,
Were left in it’s brief wake,
Muddy, never-clear surfaces,
Cast rippled reflections,
That reminded them of their past,
And future…
Nothing ever changed, and doppelganger pallbearers,
Carried the coffins of dead selves,
But at least their feet were dry?!
No. Not even that.
* wellies are rubber boots or wellingtons
There’s so much to like.
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Thanks Herminia, muchos gracias.
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Thank you for writing it.
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I really enjoyed this poem! I like your use of lineation and truncated sentences, though I’m curious as to whether you’ve considered using more enjambment across your lines. Looking forward to reading more of your stuff! 🙂
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Thanks for your kind words az. Im going to google enjambment, totally forgotten what it means.
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Great poem. Loved the end too
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Thank you Al ☺
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And you are a pretty decent poet too 🙂 I now know Mister Lion wears many hats. I am impressed. This poem is gorgeous. A sad song of lives broken too soon. It is full of rich and authentic imagery with the rhythmic sound of the rain pouring in the background.
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There isnt much I wont write about in various forms ☺ Thanks once more!
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Well, I am ardently following you 🙂 (once more)
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Reminds me of some of the not so good childhood days. Brilliantly portrayed, Fionn. 🙂
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On one hand sorry to hear that Asha, I hope life is better now ☺ Thanks for your feedback.
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They were just so so days but they’re over. So yes, I’m happy, life’s better and those i remember as memories. Thanks Fionn.😜
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Excellent. This had vivid images that made this a pleasure to read. Oh and thanks for letting me know what a wellies are?
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Great atmosphere to this – enjoyed it very much
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Thanks Nik 🙂
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Love the imagery in this one!
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Thank you Callum, I appreciate the read 🙂
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That was sad but had such wonderful language. The everyday wellie and everyday problems now, mimicked so vividly. Loved that.
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not mimicked, my head is off somewhere – portrayed. sheesh.
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lol 🙂
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Thank ya 🙂 The wellies were representative of a child having to wear them due to the storms at home.
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Well there you go, the sign of good poetry is creating something for us to add our own interpretations…I saw it as our times today the big squeeze and death of what we know, also since we were so poor we used wellies because we had no floor…not really but that kind of thing is what I saw.
Re reading it I see I get two for the price of one..still marvellous.
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2 for 1 🙂
But I like your interpretation too, and thats one of the great things about writing, the subjectivism.
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Oh, the futility! I like the grim imagery.
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I thought about tacking on some sort of escape or positive note…but I couldn’t do it lol
Thank you magarisa.
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This isn’t Hollywood…happy endings are not required. 😉
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Exactly 🙂
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