LionAroundWriting54 Comments on No Last Name – SHORT STORY

No Last Name – SHORT STORY

cinderella

     CINDERELLA DIDN’T CARE for princes, or for walking in glass. All she really wanted was a happy home life. Maybe it was the jealousy, the evil where there should have been love, perhaps she was just sick of cleaning. No fairy godmother saved her from that.
So yeah, she got herself a permit. Left the floors, the dust, the chores – they were never finished that day. Cooking never had been her thing. Washing clothes was fine, but she wasn’t going to clean anything that wasn’t hers ever again.
People say, killing your family, is truly psychotic, like it’s somehow worse than breezing through a stranger, a bank teller, or an officer of the law.
They don’t see beyond the surface. And Cinderella was sick of seeing everything beyond it, never acting on it, being a good girl and pleasing everyone.
Sure she’s certifiably nuts, locked up in maximum security, no stranger to solitary, but she had her reasons. And those bitches were what made her crazy.

During the more florid hallucinations she still believed a man would come to her with a shoe only she could fit into – a size six, like half the female population weren’t the same size. There was talk of a pumpkin carriage, some major significance about midnight.
Truth be told much of the tapes on file are garbled, but every now and then, I watch them, her big neotenous blue eyes staring, blonde hair scraped back, the blue dress deflated and stained. And there’s a story there, it’s undeniable. Somewhere between the bloodshot edges and pupils of her eyes, she wrote a book which she reads only to herself.
We never did find the bodies. And that house was so well cleaned there wasn’t a trace of incriminating evidence. A fascinating case, a devastating example of what destructive households could lead to. Maybe she could still apply for parole in 2026. But only if she gave up the burial sites.

 

lion around 2

54 thoughts on “No Last Name – SHORT STORY”

  2. Mrs. Grimm September 24, 2016 — 5:09 PM

    Ooh..finally a story that tells the truth. Cindy stops being a goody two-shoes, and gives them what they deserve. 😄😄

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. (Post author)
      LionAroundWriting September 25, 2016 — 1:35 PM

      How appropriate mrs. Grimm read this 🙂 Thanks for commenting.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
    1. (Post author)
      LionAroundWriting September 24, 2016 — 11:10 AM

      And thank you for a short but great response 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. The Grateful Dead September 24, 2016 — 12:18 PM

        “you say it best when you say nothing at all”- boyzone 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      3. The Grateful Dead September 25, 2016 — 2:03 PM

        thought you’d get it 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

    1. (Post author)
      LionAroundWriting September 24, 2016 — 11:22 AM

      I’m mega pleased, thank you WickedGabe.

      Like

      Reply
  5. Gayle Marie September 17, 2016 — 11:54 AM

    Brilliantly twisted! The live action film should have been like this 😮

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. (Post author)
      LionAroundWriting September 24, 2016 — 11:24 AM

      I haven’t seen it, didn’t realise I jacked a title lol (so unoriginal…lol) Thank you so much for commenting.

      Like

      Reply
      1. Gayle Marie September 25, 2016 — 7:54 PM

        Oh I meant the recent live action Cinderella film actually 🙂 I was kind of hoping they would do a Maleficent-ish thing with it, and what you wrote here would’ve been a mind-blowing idea 😉

        Liked by 1 person

      2. (Post author)
        LionAroundWriting September 25, 2016 — 8:35 PM

        Thanks, and yeah a dark Grimm tale is well overdue.

        Like

  7. itsthewritingcafe August 20, 2016 — 4:38 AM

    That was really a genius take on a popular fairy tale. *applause*

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. (Post author)
      LionAroundWriting August 20, 2016 — 4:42 AM

      Thanks, I bow before the clapping ☺

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  8. Jenn August 1, 2016 — 7:29 PM

    I love this! I hate I missed it when it posted. Cindy went psycho!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. (Post author)
      LionAroundWriting August 1, 2016 — 7:38 PM

      Thanks Jenn, turns out that Walt fella was a lying sack of something 😃

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. Jenn August 1, 2016 — 7:41 PM

        Ha! I agree…

        Liked by 1 person

  9. unauthoredtext August 1, 2016 — 5:07 PM

    Brilliant reimagining. Love the description in the second last para – doll-like and psychotic – and the idea of a story existing between the ‘bloodshot edges and pupils of her eyes’, beautiful in an f’ed up way like a Lynch movie, plus I learned a new word: neotenous. Thanks for that.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. (Post author)
      LionAroundWriting August 1, 2016 — 7:42 PM

      Many thanks unauthored.
      And neotenous is one of those random words I picked up but love using.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  11. Lisa Lancaster July 2, 2016 — 12:42 PM

    At least all that slavery for her step mother came in handy in the end. High five Cinder.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. (Post author)
      LionAroundWriting July 2, 2016 — 7:13 PM

      Yeah true, but look where she ended up 😐 lol

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  12. thelonelyauthorblog June 30, 2016 — 11:57 PM

    LOL Loved the finale. Great twist one one of my favorite heroines.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  13. Anita Lubesh June 30, 2016 — 2:02 AM

    I had to read this first because I saw monkey was a fan. And I thought I had followed you along time ago, but today I sorted my notification and stuff, and just now saw I hadn’t, soz, but am now.

    I noticed going in the glass reference and t had the obvious but another for me, which I thought was clever given her shitty life…’walking in glass, nice analogy.

    I enjoyed it, though you should not be messing with out heads, I had enough with Disney lol

    Good stuff.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. (Post author)
      LionAroundWriting June 30, 2016 — 7:34 PM

      More head messing lies ahead ☺
      Thanking you once again for your in depth feedback.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  14. phoebeselene June 30, 2016 — 1:05 AM

    Now this is how the faerie stories were meant to be. Brothers Grimm would be proud. I know I am. Thank you for sharing this wonderfully dark story.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. (Post author)
      LionAroundWriting June 30, 2016 — 1:12 AM

      Many thanks phoebe, I may have a few more in the pipeline.

      Like

      Reply
  15. jademwong June 29, 2016 — 4:00 PM

    Oh wow! This may be one of my favorite twists on the Cinderella fairy tale. Absolutely love Cinderella as a psychotic killer.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. (Post author)
      LionAroundWriting June 29, 2016 — 7:06 PM

      Thanks Jade.
      She’s the one most likely to do something that I could think of. I’ve already covered Snow White…who next?!hmmm…

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  16. babbitman June 29, 2016 — 1:33 PM

    Wonderful bit of writing, sir. Love the pace & how the twist was pretty much out there early doors, leaving the rest of the story to focus on the psychosis and grim (Grimm?) details.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. (Post author)
      LionAroundWriting June 29, 2016 — 7:08 PM

      Haha Grimm details indeed.
      Thanking you for your feedback babbit.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  17. SyedaFR June 29, 2016 — 11:35 AM

    What a twist to the most adored fairy tale!
    If Cinderella had been projected that way, it would have been a great thriller! 😉

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. (Post author)
      LionAroundWriting June 29, 2016 — 7:09 PM

      Maybe some twisted remake could be made? Something tells me Disney might object…but then I think its a Grimm fairytale, so maybe it wouldnt be so tough to do.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. SyedaFR June 29, 2016 — 7:28 PM

        Well, I believe the original does have a plot where Cinderella did kill her step mother. Then comes her second step mom, something like that! 😮😌

        Liked by 1 person

  18. Chris Green June 29, 2016 — 9:10 AM

    Great subversion of the fairy tale, Lion

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. (Post author)
      LionAroundWriting June 29, 2016 — 7:10 PM

      Cheers Chris.
      Theres something about them that asks to be turned into something else and the pop culture aspect helps make that process easier.

      Like

      Reply
  19. rohvannyn June 29, 2016 — 8:22 AM

    I’m glad I came here and took a look! Nice one.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
  20. Tosha Michelle June 29, 2016 — 2:37 AM

    Brilliant. Reminds me of this song

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. (Post author)
      LionAroundWriting June 29, 2016 — 4:16 AM

      Thanks.
      And great linkage, a fitting song ☺

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. Tosha Michelle June 29, 2016 — 11:23 AM

        You’re welcome .😂

        Liked by 2 people

    1. (Post author)
      LionAroundWriting June 29, 2016 — 4:16 AM

      Thanks for the suggestion, bookmarked ☺

      Like

      Reply
  22. ginaleah June 29, 2016 — 2:28 AM

    Good twist on an old story. Love the neotenous blue eyes – had to look that one up to be sure I had it right 🙂 Kept hearing Humphrey Bogart or Joe Friday narrating this one!

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. (Post author)
      LionAroundWriting June 29, 2016 — 4:18 AM

      Thanks gina ☺
      Neotenous is one of those words i heard in a lecture and it stuck with me, describes perfectly what it means.

      Like

      Reply
  23. VictoryInTrouble June 29, 2016 — 2:12 AM

    Wow!! Twisted for sure! 😄

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
      1. VictoryInTrouble June 29, 2016 — 4:20 AM

        Oh, I’m a VIP! 😛 😀
        You’re welcome. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

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