LionAroundWriting39 Comments on Shortcuts – POEM

Shortcuts – POEM

man and woman face to face

 

I ASKED HER if she would be my shortcut,

She nodded, on my eyeline,

A shortcut, in itself,

So, I knew we could be,

Another short term couple,

Deluded, love crazed,

…happiness only lasts six months.

.

We agreed to part on a given day,

And never look back,

Never call,

Never reach out a hand,

Because grieving must be done alone,

Saving us five years of wretchedness,

Of growing sick, not in love,

A handy heuristic,

And so I tell all my shortcuts,

From day one, I will leave for both our sakes,

Once two seasons become another.

 

lion around 2

39 thoughts on “Shortcuts – POEM”

  2. Malakhai Jones September 5, 2016 — 4:52 PM

    Nice and tight! I like the arrangement and the premise. Really well done, Fionn!

    Liked by 1 person

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  3. magarisa August 29, 2016 — 9:36 PM

    I had an arrangement like this many years ago, and it was the most intense, memorable relationship I ever had. For something like this to work, both parties must be on the same page. Brilliant piece!

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. (Post author)
      LionAroundWriting August 29, 2016 — 9:55 PM

      Interesting! And yes it would have to be a very up front thing, both knowing where they stand. Thanks for reading, and shedding light on it too ☺

      Liked by 1 person

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  4. bookheathen August 29, 2016 — 1:08 PM

    You made your point – but are all relationships really that shallow?

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    1. (Post author)
      LionAroundWriting August 29, 2016 — 1:54 PM

      I’m sure they aren’t.
      But then, not all that many relationships are that deep either. The piece is pretty deterministic, I doubt it could work in reality, not in the long term.

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  5. jademwong August 29, 2016 — 1:18 AM

    Definitely gives a new meaning to the word Shortcut…but this sounds like a lonely way to live. Really powerful poem, Fionn, with very raw feelings.

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  6. aspiringwriter22 August 28, 2016 — 2:33 AM

    This makes me want to be single for the rest of my life. 😛

    Liked by 1 person

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  7. VictoryInTrouble August 27, 2016 — 6:47 PM

    Wow, Fionn, this is deep. Expressed so quickly but this is a heavy idea. Both that something like this could possibly be arranged and that the opposite happens in so many relationships. Six months of ecstasy followed by years of blah or worse, misery. I like it! Well done. 😊

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    1. (Post author)
      LionAroundWriting August 28, 2016 — 3:23 PM

      Thanks VIT. Now officially unspammed.
      It’s like an idealised version, the good without too much of the bad. But unless we were robots or entirely unempathic it likely wouldnt work and would leave both sides feeling drained emotionally.

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      1. VictoryInTrouble August 28, 2016 — 3:30 PM

        Thank you for unspamming me! Yeah, imagine the turmoil as that date moved closer. And there’d most likely be a clinger. It would be a mess because we’re not robots. But still, it’s kind of appealing.

        Liked by 1 person

  8. Anita Lubesh August 27, 2016 — 5:19 PM

    Remarkable expression of such a strange set up. I could pit this against a futuristic utopian/dystopian setting (wherever we are headed) for practicalities alone, that this might become the norm. it was strange reading it, it felt cold but practical and I am that – practical lol So wasn’t sure how I felt about that. But in terms of your vehicle it was enjoyable, poetically, softening the subject at hand. Very nice.

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    1. (Post author)
      LionAroundWriting August 27, 2016 — 6:19 PM

      Thank you Anita, you comments always make me think and or smile ☺
      I see what you mean about dystopian, or utopian, I can picture that now too.
      It isnt really practical, and so many feelings would get hurt on both sides, I guess its a practical idea unlikely ever to occur.

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      1. Anita Lubesh August 27, 2016 — 6:59 PM

        Maybe tidy, uncluttered and clean, clinical – no mess, might outweigh the need for feelings one day…were half way there lol. ‘How long would your like your feelings to last, sir?’ Type of thing..ok, go write me a story lol.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. (Post author)
        LionAroundWriting August 27, 2016 — 7:04 PM

        Haha, you’re not far off the future. Masking emotions and controlling them is a human specialty.
        And that line lol, ss soon as I read it I thought there’s a story…

        Liked by 1 person

  9. Parlor of Horror August 27, 2016 — 5:09 PM

    Truth in your words. Why do people wait until they’re miserable before breaking it off?

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    1. (Post author)
      LionAroundWriting August 27, 2016 — 6:17 PM

      Yeah thats one of the main ideas behind it, the elongated suffering, or the slow death of a relathionship. Always baffled me why people stay in sad spots like that.
      Thanks for dropping by.

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  10. thelonelyauthorblog August 27, 2016 — 4:10 PM

    Freaking awesome. Never used the term short cut in that way. Cool read.

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. (Post author)
      LionAroundWriting August 27, 2016 — 6:15 PM

      Thanks my friend really appreciated. It just came to me, one of those random thoughts and I managed to make some semblance of an idea from it.

      Liked by 1 person

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      1. thelonelyauthorblog August 28, 2016 — 3:44 PM

        LOL Happens to me all the time. Have a good one.

        Liked by 1 person

  11. corkscrew mad August 27, 2016 — 3:05 PM

    Holy fuck. This is AWESOME. Damn. You write a tight poem, man. I LOVE the double meaning in “shortcut,” suggesting that this is the way to leave a “short” cut, as opposed to a long cut.

    Wow. I’m impressed!

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    1. (Post author)
      LionAroundWriting August 27, 2016 — 6:12 PM

      Wow, thanks for your great comment!
      Thanks for getting the double meaning too ☺

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  12. Alaska Frank August 27, 2016 — 2:47 PM

    Nice one Fionn. Kind of reminded me of someone I once new…

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. (Post author)
      LionAroundWriting August 27, 2016 — 2:50 PM

      Thanks Alaska, hopefully the memories weren’t too raw.

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      1. Alaska Frank August 27, 2016 — 2:51 PM

        Nah. Kind of a happy experience 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  13. Sudden Denouement August 27, 2016 — 2:16 PM

    Wonderful and pragmatic arrangement. Great poem.

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    1. (Post author)
      LionAroundWriting August 27, 2016 — 2:49 PM

      Thank you. I tend to just say it as is on these subjects.

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  14. Björn Rudberg (brudberg) August 27, 2016 — 2:14 PM

    I doubt if it can works beyond a single night…

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    1. (Post author)
      LionAroundWriting August 27, 2016 — 2:48 PM

      In practical terms probably not, it depends on a lot of variables, but it would be heart wrenching for both parties and a lot of emotional strain.

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  15. TalkaholicMe August 27, 2016 — 1:48 PM

    Have seen many movies on this topic.. It is sad for few..

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. (Post author)
      LionAroundWriting August 27, 2016 — 2:06 PM

      Yes and no, deterministic for sure.

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